xox

State of mind

I'm in a funk. I've been this way for some weeks now. I have the pressing feeling that i must change things. I must either change myself, change the course of my life, change my surroundings, change my frame of mind. It's hard for me to explain but I feel restless. I feel like a prisoner. I am aware that i now sound overly dramatic but nonetheless, this is how i feel. And i think that the best remedy would be to unwind, completely and shamelessly, in the sun, sitting on a rock in the middle of the ocean. And just be, and think and count my blessings. For we too often, fail at realizing how lucky we are. xox

Everything old is new again

Image via Pinterest

Gene Tierney - 1941. Everything comes back into style. A little something to always keep in mind. xox

xox

Away we go

Take me there: Dedon Island, Philippines, also known as Paradise. xox

Them

They're so cool, without trying too hard. They have a "don't give a fuck" attitude, but there's warmth between them. She holds on to him and she means it. If only they could smile. They could be you, they could be me. xox

Dress me

I cannot think, with all of my might, of a better outfit than this. In the casual/dressy department, nothing beats a white tee, classic watch, rosy-reddish lips and some leather. Nothing. xox

28

Today is my 28 birthday. And so to celebrate and reflect and blabber on, I have decided to do a small video. I have said it and will say it again: thank you so much for sticking around and for reading this blog. I couldn't ask for a better birthday gift. xox

P.S. Forgive the poor quality! I am not very technologically-savvy!

“Falling in love with yourself is as beautiful as any experience of love is. It’s learning to laugh at your awkward tendencies and smile at all your quirky habits. It’s learning to be grateful for the many sides you have – confident, crazy, shy, sexy, nerdy, angry, weird, and all the rest of them. It is realizing that you’re one of a kind and that you deserve to give the world the best person you can be. Falling in love with yourself is being happy in your life and knowing that in this one moment in time, you’re beautiful simply because you are you.”Kovie Biakolo, Falling In Love With Yourself

Wall art

I am somewhat of a purist when it comes to home decor. I would much rather go for a white wall and do a pop of color in the form of cushions or a carpet. But I am loving these unique wallpapers by Nina Campbell. Very English, do you think? xox

London on my mind

I am going to London in 3 weeks to visit my sister and I cannot wait!! I have never been to the UK and am so so excited to discover this city through someone else's eyes! Whilst I am not preparing any itinerary for my trip (since my sister will be our guide) I am taking notes about some landmarks that I want to visit. Which is why I am so excited to have discovered Peek! It's like a Trip Advisor but chicer and with nicer images. Everyone can contribute to a 24-hour tour in a city of their choice, regaling us with anecdotes, must-sees and must-eats. So great! Take a peek! xox

Challenge me-Day 7 & 8

I am a Taurus and I would say that this fits me quite nicely. Like many Taurus, I tend to be fiercely loyal: when I love, I love. Taurus are also said to be true epicureans: I think this describes me well. Also, I tend to be pretty hardheaded which is right on. Lastly, I am very grounded, another trait associated with this Earth sign.

A moment which made me feel satisfied? That's hard! I'd say when I graduated university because I felt like this was a huge accomplishment. I was accepted into the program (very sought of) of my dreams, I graduated with distinction and most importantly, I saw it through. I felt on top of the world. It's still a big moment for me.

Nobody does it like Sienna

i

Sienna Miller slays on the red carpet. Nobody does her mixture of boho, French sixties and ingénue as well as she. Truth. xox

Challenge me-Day 6

In no particular order:

1-I am left-handed
2-I have one dimple on my left cheek
3-My favorite color is green
4-The color I like to wear most is white
5-My favorite country in the world is Italy
6-My favorite food is tartare (raw salmon or tuna)
7-My favorite wine is a white wine called Bottega Vinai
8-I have one sister
9-My dad is my hero and the best person I know
10-I have never been in a serious relationship
11-Relationships and intimacy scare me
12-I am obsessed with Game of Thrones
13-I like to sing, especially Mariah Carey songs
14-I am a beast at karaoke
15-I am fiercely loyal
16-My best friends and I have all been friends for more than a decade
17-I love a healthy dose of Canadian rock and gangsta rap
18-I am fairly tall (5''7)
19-I work out 3 times a week 
20-I studied journalism
21-I would love to go volunteer in Panama or to study Italian
22-I have a crazy sweet tooth
23-I have two dogs and one cat (in essence, a small menagerie)
24-I am a sucker for period romantic stories (Pride and Prejudice, Persuasion, Jane Eyre)
25-I am fluent in both English and French and can hold convos in Spanish and German
26-Every year I go to Florida (I am a snow bird)
27-I would love to visit the Greek Isles, Australia and Brazil next
28-I don't drink a lot but I can never say no to Tequila
29-I love vintage shopping (in fact about 70% of my wardrobe is vintage)
30-My friends called me chAude (hot; a play on word with my name)

xox

“We were not having any fun, he had recently begun pointing out. I would take exception (didn't we do this, didn't we do that) but I had also known what he meant. He meant doing things not because we were expected to do them or had always done them or should do them but because we wanted to do them. He meant wanting. He meant living.” Joan Didion, The Year of Magical Thinking

Candidly Nicole

Nicole Richie is amazing: she's a designer, wife and entrepreneur; she's also a former wild child and she's funny as hellm all in a super stylish tea cup size. I absolutely adore this new series on AOL called Candidly Nicole. If you haven't seen it yet take a look. And please make sure to watch the episode where she endeavors to remove her stamp tramp. Priceless. xox

Sweet dreams

Loving these custom headboards by NJ company NOYO. xox

Challenge me-Day 5

Suicide prevention is a cause that is very dear to me. Having suffered from depression, I know what it feels like to feel hopeless. To hurt so much that you think about ending it. I have certainly thought about it many times (especially in the thick of the darkness) There are different steps, of course, which will lead someone to do the irreparable.  But when, even on a very superficial level, death seems a more pleasant alternative than life, then you know the suffering has gone too deep or too far for too long. I am not the stereotypical image of a depressed person and so I also know what it feels like to suffer in silence. Thus why I would love to get involved one day with various suicide (or depression) help line or prevention organizations. I feel that life is too wonderful and precious to be given up on. xox

Challenge me-Day 4

Religion is not a big part of my life per se. However, I would like to think that I am a spiritual person. To me, being grateful and walking in nature are a way to get in touch with my spiritual side. I would like to believe that someone watches over us, whether you believe it is a God or your loved ones. I definitely think it is important to believe. xox

Sleepwalking in the rift

"Sleepwalking in the Rift" a film directed by Cary Fukunaga for Maiyet from MAIYET on Vimeo.

I'm a big fan of Cary Fukunaga. Jane Eyre is so hauntingly beautiful and evocative. And I'm really excited to see Sin Nombre. But this? I feel like this pushes the boundaries of fashion movies. This short movie was shot in Kenya for luxury French brand Maiyet and it is breathtaking and strange and romantic. Definitely worth the watch. xox

"Look at you. You’re young. And you’re scared. Why are you so scared? Stop being paralyzed. Stop swallowing your words. Stop caring what other people think. Wear what you want. Say what you want. Listen to the music you want to listen to. Play it loud as fuck and dance to it. Go out for a drive at midnight and forget that you have school the next day. Stop waiting for Friday. Live now. Do it now. Take risks. Tell secrets. This life is yours. When are you going to realize that you can do whatever you want?" Louise Flory

Challenge me-Day 3

My views on drugs and alcohol. Well, I'm not against it. But i'm for everything in moderation. Obviously hard drugs are a no. Alcohol can be quite enjoyable but dependency is a very loaded subject for me (for obvious reasons). So enjoy it, have that glass of wine but that whole bottle? Maybe not.

Challenge me-Day 2

A few days late...let's do this!

In 10 years, I would like to have a family. A wonderful boyfriend and hopefully one kid (to start with). I would like to be fulfilled both professionally and personally. I would love to work on projects that move me. As a matter of fact, I recently saw an episode of Ex-Pat (on Reserve channel) about some struggling NY restaurateurs who decided to move to Belize to open a dreamy resto/bar. And this story really inspired me. They both pursued their dreams despite their hardships. They look 10 years younger, manager their own time, are there own bosses and are experimenting a wonderful culture. They live by the ocean and are raising their child to be a citizen of the world. Truly what I wish for myself.

xox

The Big dive

Hayman Island, Australia. TAKE. ME. THERE. xox

Bad luck

My computer got flooded this week-end. As in, it is no longer turning back on. My life is on that computer. That computer is at once my work tool and my window to the world. All this to say that I was (and still am) very frustrated. I was angry! Why, why, why now? But then I got reminded by a very wise person (my dad) that it's only material. It may hurt, it may be painful for your wallet and you may curse internally but it's not irreplaceable. It's not your health, or your dignity. And so, you have to say shit and move on. With a smile on. xox

P.s. Posting will be more sporadic these next few days obviously. Thank you so much for sticking around!

“I dream about having a house by the water and not doing anything, not feeling ambitious, nor having the need to make money.”  Lee Pac

*No truer words were ever spoken. xox

Damn

Found this picture, aptly entitled "damn" by yours truly,  in a folder on my computer. This made me laugh out loud. First off, how old is too old to like Zach Effron? And secondly, and most importantly, why can't i have a friend that lifts me casually like this whilst I'm in a bikini??? xox

Challenge me-Day 1

I love challenges. I'm quite competitive, though no longer in an unhealthy way. And so, if you tell me to jump, i'll do it. If you say I can't do it, I will. But sometimes, it's good to challenge yourself. To discover more about your limits and your aspirations, without any outside influence. To do it, not because someone challenges you to but simply because you want to. So...I am doing this challenge for me. Perhaps you will join me (I hope so). In any case,  I hope that my answers will enlighten you in some ways. Let's do this. xox


My current relationship status is very much single. Some days, I feel great about it. And some days, I feel pretty shitty about it. The great paradox of my life lies in the fact that I entertain a deep fear of intimacy whilst longing to love and be loved. As I am getting to know myself and understand my patterns better, I am indeed attempting to overcome my fear whilst being less emotionally dependent. And so, being on my own is what I need, right now. I love the freedom, I love that I get to know myself better and that I get to prioritize me. What I long for however, is a stable relationship with someone whom I am passionate about (and who I hope is passionate about me). I want to love and be loved and share. And most days, I feel like I am on the right path to finding a good guy to do some traveling with. And other days, I despair and feel like I will forever be stuck in the wilderness. I would be tempted to say that single life is not all what people in relationships make it out to be. But i feel with great certainty that there is a path that we have to travel. And mine right now looks very far from promiscuity and parties and sexting but I have great confidence that it will provide me with the right foundations to let love in.

Viernes

The week has ended (finally). I'll have a drink (or four). Wishing you a week-end full of stillness and colors and fun and love. xox

"You know when you come across one of those empty shell people, and you think "What the hell happened to you?" Well there came a time in each one of those lives where they are standing at a crossroads... someplace where they had to decide whether to turn left or right. This is no time to be a chicken-shit, Frances." Under the Tuscan Sun

All about drew

Drew Barrymore is one of my idols. She truly is. I admire her deeply for overcoming her circumstances whilst always keeping a sense of humor.  I find that she has a light about her. I would very much like to be her best friend to tell you the truth so Drew, if you're reading this (ha!) please be my friend, ok? Anyways, little side note, if you don't know Reserve Channel I highly suggest that you do as soon as humanly possible because well it's wonderful and addictive and dreamy. I love Eric Riepert and watching him cook yummy food with his yummy guests (including the wonderful Stanley Tucci). So when I saw there was an episode with Drew being all drew-like, I kind of died a little of joy. So endearing. Watch it. xox

The immensity of it all

 Well, I have been MIA. Not because I had places to go. Instead, the last few days I have kind of turned inwards-because that's where the storm is brewing. I am not so sure if it is a good storm, the kind that washes away things only to give way to a more luxuriant, lusher landscape or if it's a very destructive storm-the kind that annihilates everything on its path. Both are actually not bad because oft you need to destroy the foundations to rebuild a stronger base. The point is,  I feel a sea of change coming. The unknown is very scary to me (seeing as I am a control freak). Letting go, hoping things will be for the best looks wonderful on paper but in reality, it is so hard to relinquish any kind of hold on what may come and be. I feel like I need to move, and I want to be proactive, yet I keep hitting roadblock after roadblock. A very infuriating scenario to say the least! And so, whilst I know that the earth will not be shifted in its axis, it still feels very important for me to just accept. Accept things as they come, as they are and as I presume, they ought to be. And maybe that's the lesson that I have to learn, that we all have to learn: that sometimes, you have to not see the shore to discover new places, new people, a new life. Just keep sailing, without a map, without a lighthouse in sight. Just get on the boat and go. And never look back. xox