Must

Top images via Aubrey Road

Get through the day. Might as well do it whilst looking at pretty things, dontcha think? xox

Vexed

 My mouth often gets the best of me. Certainly, it has the uncanny ability to get me in trouble. Ironically, it is also one of my best attribute, the ease with which I communicate. But in friendship, in love as in woe, my mouth has been at fault more than once. It has been the sword with which I have defeated many, have wounded others and have killed some. My tongue is pointy, and like a snake, the venom that comes out of it is lethal and poisonous. It poisons the mind, it hurts the feelings with its frankness –oft unsolicited- and it offends. This week-end I vexed a good friend of mine. I gave a very abrupt, unwanted opinion and I hurt him. Now, I value honesty above all else. And I said nothing that I’m ashamed of. But I need to learn to a) keep my opinions to myself and b) if I voice them, to phrase them in a less offensive way. I am quite tired of justifying everything that I do in relation with my past. I am a grown-ass woman and I am in charge of what I do, or don’t do. However, I am a firm believer that the past may explain how one’s mind works, how one’s understands and interprets. The way I speak, the reproaches I make –which are quite harsh- are a reflection of the way I was spoken to. All my life. It doesn’t make it ok. It doesn’t excuse what I do. But unconsciously, this is the way the words come out. Similarly, my friend’s reaction can probably be explained by something in his past.  I believe that people would be much more compassionate if they would take the time to understand a person’s motives. I was speaking out of love to this friend. Tough love but love, nonetheless. I hope he forgives me. If he doesn’t I can’t blame him. By being careless with his feelings and indulging in my need to put my two cents, I may have reopened deeper wounds. And compromised trust. Well, shit. Must keep my stupid mouth shut next time. And learn tact. Here's to improvement. xox

 

xox

Let us go

 

Back to the 50's! xox

Escape to the sea

All images via Dust Jacket Attic

One of the best editorials. Dream-inducing. Wish i was there. And you with me. xox

Secrets

Here's to the freakin week-end! Can't wait to take some time to blog a lil longer and appreciate my friends' company. xox

"here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
I carry your heart, I carry it in my heart" EE Cumings

Wanted

Fluidity. Bright and neutral colors. Toned legs. Oui, oui, oui. xox

Sometimes, you need to not care. Sometimes, you need time for yourself.
Sometimes, you need to realize that you can be your own best friend.
Sometimes, you need to rejoice in your circumstances.
Sometimes, you need to be angry/sad/enraged.
Sometimes, you need to be uninspired.
And sometimes, you need to turn your back on the negative. Tie your hair up and have a drink. Cheers to you.

Half

Image via Luella Loves

I used to be a glass half-empty kind of person. Now, i'm a glass half-full gal. xox

Great

Feel great. Today. There's no better time to start. Do. it. now. xox

Say hello

 

This is how I want to look like this summer. Now, of course, I'll never be this thin. Nor do I want to be. But I do want to wear flowy pieces. And colorful ones. And I want to be sunkissed. And carefree. Is that too much to ask? xox

P.S. I believe these images are from Rory Becca SS12. 

Tip of the day

Embrace thy hair. xox

Succulents

Random thought of the day: I love succulents. Possibly the only plant i could keep alive. Extra points when used as a table center. xox

All is good

All images via Dust Jacket Attic

Time off has been extra lovely. I hope you are enjoying the sweet nothings, as I am. xox

Dance me til the end of love

Dancing by the Seine would be grand righ about now. Grand. xox

An open window

 

A lot of light. Let the sun shine in. xox

Bitterness cometh

 I feel like a may have mislead the very gracious readers of this blog. I dearly hope not but somehow i feel like I may have given the idea that all is unicorn and rainbows in my world, despite having survived emotional turmoil.  I certainly would despise sounding like those self-righteous women who seem to have everything under control (Gwyneth Paltrow, i'm hollering at you.) Because, certainly, it is not the case for me. I am not always Suzy-fucking-sunshine. As a matter of fact, there are days like today when i'm hanging on a thread. When i honestly feel like a could curl up in a ball in the mud under the rain and bawl my eyes out-à la Bella Swan. You see there is this great dichotomy in life, where you can be the person who survived depression, who picked herself up from the floor and who, forged through and you can also be the person who would like to bash everyone's skull against a brick wall. Who would like to give everything up and be selfish and go far away. When my mom left, in a very non-maternal way, I was forced to assume a role that i didn't want, that i didn't ask for. My family dynamic has always been such that there needs to be a caretaker. It's a necessity. Somebody needs to take care of things, clean things, fold things, let the dogs out, buy the groceries and such. And so, i found myself having to take care of a 60-year old man, a twenty-something sister, two dogs, one cat and one house. Admittedly, I could have left. But something in me couldn't. And so, i didn't. There are days like today where i find myself suffocating. I find myself longing for a life of my own, for the life that a 27 year-old should be able to have. And i get bitter. And resentful. And angry.

There is always a vary naive part of me that longs to be saved. That wishful thinking that someone could come and make it all better. But the truth is, that if i ended up curling up in a fetal position in the mud, no one would come. And i'd probably catch pneumonia and have to pick myself up and limp back home. Similarly, no one will knock on my door and offer to clean my debts so that I can move out. Moreso, no knight in shining armor will whisk me away to a place where i feel love and loneliness doesn't exist. That won't happen. And sometimes, my own inability to save myself, to wipe the bitterness away is despair-inducing. So please, know that if you feel like shit sometimes, it happens. And by God, i am not here trying to drill in you some sort of morale. I haven't found the magic equation to make everything right. But when i do, you'll be the first ones to know. xox

Darcy

Nobody speaks like Mr. Darcy, anymore. But here's to whishful thinking. xox

But

If you don't have a lover, don't despair. Just hug your dog. And keep the faith (i know i am-or at least, trying to.) xox