Flaws

All images via Just Jared

I have flaws. We all have flaws. Some people live better with it than others. I am not one of those people. I have mentioned it in the past but self-love doesn't and didn't come easy for me. It is something that I have to work hard at, everyday. When you have low self-love, you have to make a conscious effort to love what you see in the mirror day in and day out. And more importantly, you have to learn to live with your flaws. Accept them. Learn to love them. Of course, one could dwell on all the things one despises about one's appearance. But one musn't. I could wish and pray for something magical to make my unidimensional face, well, more three dimensional. Or I could wish and pay for a boob job. Or lipo. Some things are harder to live with than others. And some things, you show grow into. When I was younger, I used to get teased because I didnt look like anything. I might as well, have been born from Asian, Spanish, Greek, Arabic parents. I do not have the typical Quebecois face. And now, I actually think, it's a good thing. I look exotic. And maybe a little mysterious. Same thing with my booty. I have a huge one. Think black girl's booty on a white girl's body. Oh, the nasty words I have been called in my teens-pre J.Lo days. But now, I love it. It's big. It's kinda sexy. True i have cellulite. But who doesn't? A chosen few. A special God-blessed elite club of which I am no member. Big freakin' deal. There is one part of my body, however, that I have a hard time to reconcile with. My legs. They are chunky and big. And not very feminine. Years of kayaking and canoeing have given me Lance Armstrong's calves. And maybe it's mean, and maybe it's wrong, but it helps to see people who have the same body type as you. Makes you feel like you are not the only one. And perhaps, makes you realize that you are your toughest critic. Exhibit A: Katie Holmes. Whether she has gone crazy or not is debatable but one thing is sure: she is a beautiful woman. She has class. And she married Top Gun himself. But take a closer peek at her legs. They are chunky (and I say that fondly).
She has runner's calves. And large knees and ankles. And she looks stunning. It gives me hope. Like if maybe someone notices my flaws, they see the big picture. Because i am the sum of all my parts. Chunky or otherwise. Amen.