Thursday, March 29, 2012
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Soie
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| Images via Veronica Loves Archie |
Vanity Fair Proust Questionnaire
Did you know that since 1993, Vanity Fair has used the celebrated Proust Questionnaire to probe note-worthy personalities? As I was reading VF this week-end I thought it was a very interesting set of questions. So, please forgive me whilst I become one of these annoying people who talk about themselves at lenght. I just answered this as truthfully as I could. You should do the same. xox
What is your idea of perfect happiness?: Being surrounded by loved ones. Cuddling with my dog. A warm breeze on a summer day. Good food. Chocolate.
What is your greatest fear?: The oppressing weight of loneliness.
Which historical figure do you most identify with?: Joan of Arc
Which living person do you most admire?: My dad. He’s the best person I know.
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself? My selfishness
What is the trait you most deplore in others?: Hyprocrisy
What is your greatest extravagance?: My car
What is your favorite journey? The one that has yet to begin.
What do you consider the most overrated virtue?: Self-abnegation. Nobody really benefits from it in the end.
When and where are you happiest?: In my bed / By the beach / Where my friends are
What do you dislike most about your appearance?: My voluptuousness. It’s a love/hate relationship.
Which living person do you most despise?: Despise is a strong feeling that I choose not to indulge in.
Which words or phrases do you most overuse?: “Qu’est-ce qui font les chiens?”/ “what are the dogs doing?”
What is your greatest regret? Running away from love, years ago. It could have been great.
What or who is the greatest love of your life? A certain guy named B.
Where would you like to live? In a warm climate. Where the love is.
What do you consider your greatest achievement?: Surviving emotional turmoil / Succeeding academically and professionally
On what occasion do you lie?: When I don’t want to hurt people.
Which talent would you most like to have?: The talent to mentally calculate effectively
What is your current state of mind?: Happy, relaxed, content
If you were to die and come back as a person or thing, what do you think it would be?: I don’t think i'd want to come back. Let others get to enjoy life.
What is your most treasured possession?: My dog, my computer, my pictures
What is your favorite occupation? Relaxing in my bed with a good book, a good movie and my dog.
What is the quality you most like in a man? Kindness.
What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?: To live alone, rejected from society with no kinship
What is your most marked characteristic?: my eyes- they’re huge or my butt-it's huge.
Who are your heroes in real life? My grandma.
What are your favorite names? Liya, Ellia, Auguste, James, Adjani
What is it that you most dislike? Hyprocrisy.
What do you most value in your friends?: Loyalty
Who are your favorite writers?: Truman Capote, Joan Didion
Who is your favorite hero of fiction?: Elizabeth Bennet
How would you like to die?: Peacefully
What is your motto?: “Fail, fail again, fail better.”
Monday, March 26, 2012
Dual
About therapy
For those familiar with my blog, it is no secret that I am a big proponent of therapy. I know that each person deals with their problems in their own ways and therefore, I am only sharing my opinion based on experience. But for me, therapy was a big factor in my recovery. As with my depression, I get asked various questions about my process: what does therapy entails, what techniques are used, if it’s weird, if I have enough to say to fill twice-weekly 1-hour sessions, etc. So, I thought, that perhaps I could shed some light on it. To inform, to raise awareness and maybe to encourage people to seek help. I don’t pretend to be some Joan of Arc but-and please forgive me for being a cheese-if I can help but one, if I can prevent just one person for going through what I’ve been through- then I’m happy.
It is my understanding that there are many types of therapy and that each therapist forges his or her own technique. A therapist is a weird being; it is a confidant, someone who knows your deepest secrets, fears and aspirations and who, yet, remains a stranger to you. That kind of relationship may breed some frustrations (I know it has for me, and I am still struggling to this day) and even some feelings of inferiority. As a patient, you feel vulnerable, you feel exposed and here you have some Il-duce type figure, sitting in his/her chair and staring at you. Many a time, I felt like I wanted to tip-the-scale, like I wanted to analyze him (my therapist is a man), like I wanted to sit there-all Abraham Lincoln-like, but I realized that it’s not about him. It’s about me. This is my space. And I choose to do this. My therapist is not very verbal either. He mostly lets me talk and interjects once in a while. When he interjects, however his speech is heartfelt and eye opening. But that was too, something that I needed to get used to: basically, sitting for an hour and having a monologue-or rather-thinking out loud to a very infuriatingly neutral audience. Sometimes, you long for a reaction-any kind of reaction. But always needing validation also speaks to your insecurities and your insatiable need for reassurance. Therapy, I have learned is a Mobius strip of questions and answers. Everything you do, think and voice out loud raises more questions, more flaws, more traits on which to improve. In a way, talking with yourself in front of a non-judgmental audience allows you to dig deep, to hold a mirror to yourself and understand your inner workings. What I’ve learned from therapy, perhaps the most valuable lesson that I will carry with me all my life, is that my feelings are legitimate. It’s ok to feel how you do, and no one can tell you otherwise. You might feel deeply wounded by something that happened in your past, something that would feel very trivial to somebody else. And what you’re feelings matters. People might deal with things in different ways but there is no point in comparing how so and so might react or recover. I have come to enjoy sitting down and spending time to work on myself. I need that. I need to be forced to sit down in a foreign environment. Because truthfully, if I’m alone at home, I won’t meditate. I will not, it’s not happening for me. Some naysayers will say that people like me use therapy as a crutch, as a replacement for my emotionally crippling self. I disagree. I use therapy as a tool to get better. I have realized that I will NEVER be perfect or fully healed or fully sane. It’s part of life to try. I will undoubtedly stumble some more in my future. But the things I will have realized about myself while in therapy will have helped me weather the storm. Therapy is not for everyone. Perhaps for you walking or doing yoga or meditating is a way of getting in touch with yourself. And that’s fine. But I think that a little introspection benefits everyone. No matter how unpleasant or hard what you might find it is. Forge through. The reward of becoming a better person is worth it. xox
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Spring me
where the story ends?
Friday, March 16, 2012
Vendredi
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| Photo by me |
— Carl Rogers via The Angry Therapist
Thursday, March 15, 2012
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