A dangerous method

Last night, i decided that there's nothing worst than two people loving each other, but being unable to be together. Regrets will eat away at your heart and will break your spirit. If you love someone -and say, that person doesn't love you back- it is a tragedy. However, since there is nothing you could possibly do to sway that person's feelings towards you, it is less likely that regrets should creep up. But if you could choose happiness with someone - but that out of responsibilities, security, social standing and other- didn't, than that is the worst tragedy. For both of you. Watching David Cronenberg's A Dangerous Method, it is not the birth of psychoanalysis that stayed with me the most but rather the love story between Dr. Carl Jung and Sabina Spielrein. Dr. Jung was an honest family man-albeit a very unhappy one. He meets Sabina, an aspiring doctor who suffers from deep psychological setbacks. He treats her, frees her from her neurosis, and both begin a romantic affair. Then ridden by guilt and rumours (started by his own wife- but really who would STAY if they knew their husband was straying, repeatedly?-) he ends it. Both are obviously devastated but off they go. Years later, as she is herself becoming a doctor, she reaches out for his help on her thesis. They reconnect and rekindle their heated -spanking anyone?- relationship. The movie ends on a most devastating note. Not because of what happens but rather because it leaves you with the bitter taste of what could have happened. Sabina is pregnant. She has since gotten married to a Dr. and visits Jung at the pressing of his wife. Jung is depressed and changed. He has a new mistress. He was in love with Sabina (something she has suspected but had never had the confirmation). And, as he looks painfully at her swelling belly, he leaves her with :"this should have been mine." The movie closes on both of them crying.

What could have been? Why do people settle for comfort, for security? Jung's wife -however gentle- is boring. But she is incredibly rich. And I think, provides Jung with security. As he points to Sabina: "Emma (his wife) is the foundation of my house. And Toni (his new mistress) is the perfume in the air".

I know how comfort and security can seem so appealing. But in the end, it doesn't sustain a relationship. If it lacks connection, passion, fun...the relationship will die. You will die-on the inside. A close friend of mine always told me not to take example on her. She married out of security and necessity. She married a wonderful man but someone very far from who she is, so far in fact, that they couldn't fulfill each other. And so, the marriage ended in divorce. What it thought me is that you should never settle. Out of needs, out of insecurities. Don't cut yourself short. Life is not long enough to live it unhappily. xox