Until midnight

As those who read this blog knows, i have heard a news this week that made me feel quite sad. I think our first reflex, whenever we are hurting, is either to pummel through the emotion as if nothing happened or reach out to others. I tend to be of the first category. My pains are very personal and i don't share or indulge in them often. But if there's one thing that i have learned since starting therapy, is that it is OK to stay with an emotion. To let yourself be sad. Wallow. Don't suppress it and don't repress it. It will eat away at you. And so, I gave myself the week-end to feel sad and sorry for myself. After midnight tonight I will, of course, still be upset from time to time about that specific subject, but i won't let myself be consumed by envy or regret. After midnight. And so, since i still have a few hours left, I started to think about what I, myself, would want in a marriage IF I ever get married. Now, my idea of marriage may differ greatly from others. And i would be perfectly fine NOT getting married. But i think, quite frankly, that this is something i would love to experience at least once, before my time is up. My ideal wedding would be a very small one - if not the two of us than a few of our favorite peeps-. There would be amazing food involved, preferably a beach, some barefootness and music. I would like my dress to be the exact opposite of the princess gown; easy, flowy, elegant, nothing too fancy or stiff. I would want to be me. Surrounded by the man i love and my closest, bestest friends. That's it. Maybe one day. Hopefully. xox

Top dress, Sweet Pea; Second dress, Oh Joy, both by Ivy & Aster. Ring by Ersthwile Jewelry.