I haven’t been in here in a while. This place that once felt so familiar, like an old friend, now feels foreign-like a new acquaintance you are still trying to figure out. I have always, for as far as I can remember, cut myself short. Devaluing myself has become a business that I know well. And it makes sense: think you deserve nothing, get nothing. Yet, building a strong self on shaky foundations is not an easy feat. And so, back in May, I felt like I needed to step back a bit. To gain some perspective, to come back even more inspired and more interesting. And so I lived in the now for a while: I went to London, I found my apartment and I even "started" dating someone. But the strange thing is, I felt even more uninspired. Just like a body that needs sustenance, creativity needs to be nourished. There’s no magical formula to being inspired. You need to work at it. And yes, some days, you’ll suck. Forgive yourself. Yes, some days you’ll be boring. Learn to live with it and endeavor to be more interesting the next day. Trust yourself has become my new mantra. As with this “relationship” (I use this word so very, very loosely) that started somewhat promising yet ended too quick to tell, I need to learn to trust my instincts. Second guessing is inevitable but you need to cut yourself some slack. Go with your intuition, act according to your values and if it doesn’t work out, then shrug it off and forge along. And eat/drink lots of milkshakes in the process.
So please, bare with me. If you stuck around, a million merci. If you didn’t, I’m sorry. But I’m not really. Trust me on that one. xox
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