Doing it alone

I have been...lonely. But not the bad type of lonely. Yes, admittedly ever since I moved out, I have been quite by my lonesome. And yes, the first few days were giving me panic attacks, to say the least. But for the past two days, I have felt a peace come over me. I feel...alright. I feel fine. It's a Thursday night and I am at home and that's ok. I'm doing things for me. I am slowly learning to listen to my own needs and do things that make me happy rather than doing things out of obligation or servitude. When in your late twenties, society tends to dictate that on a Thursday night, you should be out. You should be mingling, meeting up beautifully polished people and getting essentially (in a very glossy and glamorized way) trashed. Now, I am not saying that once in a while, I don't enjoy doing it (I do.) But today was stormy, and humid and what I wanted was to go to Zara and then walk home, eat pizza and salad, blog and read a good book. And so I did. The crazy thing is, when you are constantly stimulated, by people, by animals, by tasks, you forget to see things- really see things. I walked home in the pouring rain and I can confidently say that Montreal was absolutely beautiful, something I hadn't appreciated in a long time. Hence, why it's important to stop and smell the flowers sometimes. Don't be scared of silence. Of being by yourself. Or spending quality time with yourself. Next stop for me: going alone to the movies (something I have never done before) and possibly, traveling alone. I feel fine. Because, let's be real, i'm fine company. xox