Giving it away

 Carrie Bradshaw once asked the very philosophical question: “are we romantically challenged or are we sluts?” In this day and age, it seems that we are in a bit of a pickle, really: either we give it away too soon for fear of losing the guy and in order to keep his interest, or we hold back a bit, in order to keep his interest and for fear of losing him (because, what if he thinks that I do this with all the boys?). So what’s a girl to do? I recently found myself in a very similar situation where these two ideas were playing a ragging war against one another. After much talk with my girlfriends, guy friends and therapist and after countless Google searches (which I shamefully admit to), I have come to this very basic conclusion: it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter what decision you make, as long as you make it for yourself and that you respect your values. You see the problem with this catch 22 is that in both instances, you give the power away to the man and you act out of fear (of loss and judgment). Don’t feel pressured to sleep with a man right away (if you don’t feel like it). If he likes you, he’ll stick around. If he doesn’t, then he was only after one thing. Do sleep with him if you feel so inclined. Sleep with him on a first date if you want to! Sleep with him on the fifth date! Don’t sleep with him! You decide. There is, however, a general consensus (that I established after my almost Ph.D-level research): if you sleep with him immediately, don’t be surprised if he thinks the only relationship you guys will nurture is the one between the sheets. If you hold out for say, 2 months, don’t be surprised if he thinks you’re not into him. Do it. And don’t do it. But listen to your gut feeling. And be at peace with your decision. xox